


We'll Feel Better - Wolfstar

by writing_out_my_inner_voices



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 18:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18707872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_out_my_inner_voices/pseuds/writing_out_my_inner_voices
Summary: Sirius is free of Azkaban, but not of the infamy of being an escaped convict. Stuck in his childhood home that has far more dark moments than happiness, Remus helps Sirius recover from the torment of the Dementors and come to terms with where he has to live, and how perhaps, out of the bad, can come something good.





	We'll Feel Better - Wolfstar

The house was far more dark than it had been in his childhood, and even though he knew logically it wouldn't happen, he expected his mother to step down the stairs and glare at him for daring to step in her home. He stared at the curtain that covered her portrait, and eased by it silently, feeling the brush of Remus' fingers against his shoulder as they both moved, quiet and careful, into the kitchen.

Kreacher briefly glanced at them before vanishing away to anywhere else, mumbling something about blood traitor. Sirius glared at where the creature had been, but then glanced at Remus, at the worn-down kitchen, and slumped into one of the many chairs around the dining table. Remus sat down, putting a chair between them as Sirius came to terms with where he was, and tried to adjust. 

Sirius sucked in a breath and let out a short bark of a laugh, the sound bitter.

"Finally, this place has some peace and quiet."

His voice broke a bit at the end and Remus' fingers caught at his hand. He glanced at the taller man, then away again, gray eyes full of moisture and holding haunted shadows in its depths. He reached up to tease a hand through his hair, and flinched as his fingers got caught in the long, tangled strands. He let out a soft sigh.

"...Fuck."

Remus reached over to gently pet his fingers against Sirius' hair, without tangling his fingers in the fragile and chaotic strands. He watched Sirius, who pointedly didn't look at him, but allowed the touch, actually leaning into it as the moisture faded from his eyes and his mind settled.

"...Sirius-"

"...Could you cut my hair?"

The request was not what he expected, and Remus stared at Sirius, eyes wide. Sirius' expression crumpled a bit and the moisture gathered again in his eyes.

"I don't care if you think it'll look like shit, because it will. I need...I need all of it off..."

Remus' eyebrows furrowed and he settled his hand against the side of Sirius' face, who gratefully leaned into his fingers, into contact. Remus let out a breath and stroked his jaw just a little, before he stood up to try to find scissors. He looked at Sirius, assessing his hair and the other's slumped form.

"...Are you sure?"

Sirius sniffed sharply, and Remus realized Sirius was now crying, since Remus was no longer in sight. He shook his head, his own expression falling a bit, and he rubbed lightly at Sirius' shoulder, shushing him gently.

"...Alright, alright, Pads...I've got you."

The nickname, long out of use, had Sirius' eyes widening and then squeezing shut as a lump formed in his throat. He felt Remus' fingers tease through his hair, and then felt each snip like a sharp hex to his body as Remus cut away the tangled, broken mess of his hair. He kept his eyes closed, didn't focus on the loss, just...existed for a moment, in the silence. Remus paused after cutting away a rather wild chunk of hair, pulling the scissors back.

"Are you doing alright?"

A short nod moved through Sirius and Remus nodded, petting fingers through the partially cut hair.

"Good, good. You're doing well. I'm proud of you..."

Another soft sound, a sob, fell out of Sirius, and Remus grew silent again as he worked on the other's hair, shushing him and reassuring him when he got overwhelmed, whispering praise when he got through a particularly difficult patch of hair. He kept contact with Sirius, running fingers through his hair, brushing fingers over his shoulder, anything to keep Sirius at least a little present and not lost in the past.

When he was finally done, Sirius' hair was cut almost entirely down, short and black with strands of grey woven throughout. Remus set to work just trimming his beard a little, styling it like he remembered Sirius doing, and then sat back when all was done. Sirius sat where he was, tears having tracked down his cheeks and eyes unfocused. Remus almost wouldn't have recognized him, but it was Padfoot, even with the strain and exhaustion of Azkaban weighing his shoulders down.

Remus set the scissors aside and ran his fingers one last time through Sirius' hair.

"...Would you like to take a bath?"

Sirius squinted at the word and eyed Remus, who smiled a bit back at him. A fragile smile followed after and Remus held out his hand to Sirius, helping him stand up when he felt the other man's bony fingers in his palm.

"Alright, while you take a bath, I'll clean up here and make some food, alright?"

Sirius huffed a little, obviously not thrilled with the idea of either, but Remus pulled him along, easing him up the dark stairs and reassuring him when he paused in a panic and got lost in memories. It took ten minutes to get up the stairs, and another ten to get to the bathroom. By the time they got there, Sirius was shaking and Remus was all but carrying him to the bathtub. He shushed him softly as he ran the water, flicking his wand and adding soap to it that made bubbles rise up and cover the top of the water. Sirius sat, huddled, watching the tub fill in a dazed sort of trance.

Remus stood up and helped him stand up, hesitating a moment.

"...Do you want me to help you undress?"

Sirius flinched a little and eyed Remus, but after a moment, sucked in a breath and his expression smoothed over.

"...I...I'll be fine. I can do it."

Remus nodded and left the bathroom, shutting the door almost all the way and waiting as he listened to Sirius undress with soft sighs, and then slip into the water with a rather ungraceful sploosh. Remus couldn't help smiling a bit, bitter at just how their worlds had shattered and come together to form a chaotic sort of stained glass piece of art that was more abstract than orderly.

"Remus?"

He jumped, surprised Sirius called out to him and stood by the door, but didn't go in.

"Yes, Sirius? Are you alright?"

A soft little chuckle followed the question, and then Sirius answered.

"...I...could you help me wash my hair?"

Remus settled and a small smile settled across his lips again.

"Of course."

He moved into the bathroom again and shut the door behind him, finding a stool to bring over to the back of the tub, so he could reach Sirius' hair. The former prisoner was sitting in the water, lost in thought and in a daze once again, grey eyes unfocused and staring at the bubbles swirling in the water. Remus caught up shampoo and gently, carefully, tapped Sirius' shoulder.

"...Get your hair wet for me?"

Sirius slipped under the water and Remus felt a rush of fear course through him, worried Sirius may not want to resurface. But then Sirius sat up again, sputtering against the water that covered his face and streamed down it. Remus laughed a little and teased fingers into his hair before getting some shampoo into his hands and lathering it into Sirius' hair. The soft sigh of relief that escaped Sirius had Remus smiling a bit, glad that at least for the moment, Sirius found peace.

He took longer than he needed to wash Sirius' hair, covering every strand in shampoo, massaging at his scalp till he almost had Sirius dozing against the back of the tub. Once he was done, he pulled his hands back and Sirius ducked his head, easing the bubbles and suds out of his hair before popping up again with a gasp. He glanced at Remus, and Remus smiled back at him.

"Better?"

Sirius managed a small smile and nodded. 

"Yes. Thank you, Moony..."

The use of his own nickname had Remus' eyes widening and they stared at each other for a long moment before Sirius actually glanced away and slumped a little again.

"...I think I can handle the rest."

Remus focused again and schooled his expression.

"...If you think you can, then, I won't protest.”  
Sirius smiled a bit and glanced back at him.

“...I don’t want to bother you, M-Remus.”

Remus sucked in a breath and shook his head.

“...You’re not bothering me...”

Sirius narrowed eyes again, then eyed him up and down.

“...You need a bath too...”

Remus tilted his head a bit, and was rewarded with a short laugh from Sirius.

“I bathe just fine.”

Sirius crinkled his nose and raised his eyebrows.

“Apparently not, mate, I can smell you from here.”

“I’m right next to you.”

“Piss off.”

Remus laughed a little, the first time in years, and then shook his head at Sirius, who stared right back at him.

“...Are you asking me to join you, Sirius?”

“I don’t remember asking.”

Remus smirked and licked his lip as he shook his head, amused and gratefully distracted by Sirius’ antics, feeling the man was showing a bit more of himself compared to how broken he had seemed when they first walked in.

“You just want to see me naked.”

“I haven’t seen a man in years, Moony. I’m jonesing...”

Remus laughed and stood up, undressing carefully and moving to climb into the gratefully spacious tub opposite Sirius, settling after a moment. His smile faded when he glanced up and saw that Sirius was staring at him. Specifically, at the fresh and old scars from the past twelve years. Remus swallowed and ducked his head.

“Moony-”

“Sirius, it’s fine-”

“No, it’s not, fuck, I should have just fought the Aurors and found my way back to you-”  
“...That wouldn’t have helped, Pads.” He glanced up at him and Sirius stared back. Remus shrugged and shook his head and slumped a bit more under the water.

“I didn’t know you were innocent back then.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and he swallowed carefully before sinking into the water as well, and they mulled over the time they had lost, and the truth they were still coming to terms with. Sirius reached back and grabbed the shampoo after a moment and offered it to Remus, silent and pleading.

Remus managed a smile and took the shampoo, moving to wash his hair.

“We’ll be alright, Pads.”

He sunk into the water before he heard Sirius’ reply, but the other watched him, a sad ache in his eyes before he glanced up at the ceiling and closed them against the memories that eased into his mind.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if we’re not, Moony...”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy this little mess of mine! Just had inspiration hit me and so I wrote this while crying over these two.


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